Sharing Grief

I’m in the middle of a mental health…not “crisis,” for that implies that I’m about to do something dangerous. And I’m not.

But I am grieving. I am in a bad place. The Bad Place, I call it, actually, but it’s way less funny than any motherforking shirtballs. I’m not going to hurt myself or others, but it’s rough. Hopeless. In some ways, even more so than before I committed to living, for now, I don’t have any direction in which to travel. I’m lost. And I’m broken.

For almost six months, I’ve been struggling with a deepening depression. In the past few weeks, some trauma from 20 years ago has surfaced that I can barely look at. I’m ashamed. I will share all that in time, but that will take time. My life is not the same as it was before I uncovered these this. And I can never go back, however much I beg for a ride in a blue box.

But in the meantime, I know four things for sure:

  1. I am a writer.
  2. I am a teacher.
  3. I want to love well.
  4. I want to be brave.

Next Steps

To be honest, I don’t know if it will get better. It’s bad. But if we, as a society, don’t start talking about these things, more people will die. I’m committed to life. But that’s a cognitive commitment. That’s not how I feel.

By God, I will be brave. I will grit my fucking teeth and make it through another day. Another minute, even. And in the midst of this viscous hell, my determination to get to the next moment is Rock-Fucking-Solid.

I’ll post here when I can. I want to share my story to show that we who are grieving are not alone. I want to share my story — maybe it will be cathartic. Maybe not. But maybe we will start talking about these things more openly. We offer sympathy and grace for broken limbs. We should do the same for broken hearts. Without the fear. Without the feeling sorry for someone. Without ostracizing them further.

We must recognize and validate our broken hearts, even as we work towards the healing that right now, seems 93 million miles away, in the center of the sun.

We can share our hurting hearts. This one is mine.

Welcome to “Sharing Grief: stories of a broken heart.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Journey2Motivate

Inspirational Quotes To Motivate Your Life

Breathing Words

Where Words Breathe

Poly.Land

Your Daily Polyamory Blog for Navigating Life, Relationships, and More

Storm Cellar

A literary journal of safety and danger

Dueling Symmetry

For the Creative and the Curious

Discover

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Longreads

The best longform stories on the web

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

%d bloggers like this: