I had a strange thing happen today. Someone told me the following things (I’m changing them just slightly for identity protection):
- You’re not valid
- Who you are is wrong
- I lied to you when I said who you are is okay
- I was just curious, so I used you to study you, and I now can’t look at myself in the mirror without telling you the truth
I’m fuckin’ fabulous.
Yes, I’m struggling with some self worth issues because I’m dealing with some recently uncovered trauma.
Yes, I know every single one of my faults in excruciating detail.
But guess what?
Because I know what’s “wrong” with me, I’m also really aware of what is “right” with me.
And let me just say, there is nothing like having to rely on yourself for affirmation to understand what your self worth and value are (thank you, Neener, for that wonderful example).
I. Am. Worthy. Of. Love.
I’m not angry with this person. I kind of feel sorry for them, actually. They really missed out on knowing someone has a lot of love to give and a lot of kindness to share.
And another thing. I know it’s going to take me some time to work through the things I’m working through. But no one…lemme repeat that:
gets to lie to me — especially about who I am. This is who I am:
- I am kind.
- I am loving.
- I’m decent.
- I have a good work ethic
- I desire to love well
- I’m sexy
- I have this little dimple that is just hottttt
- I’m healthy
- I’m emotional
- I cry
- I am funny
- I am an excellent storyteller
- I’m a great partner
- I’m a great dad
And I’m sure there’s other things.
But the point is this:
I’m gonna start treating myself better. I deserve that. I do NOT deserve this inaccurate bullshit from this person.
I know my worth. And I’m going to start claiming it.